Our kids have just about always been “pew kids”, meaning rarely did they spend time in a church nursery. It’s not that I have anything against nurseries. There have been short seasons where we utilized the nursery but we never considered it a long term solution. We’ve just felt it was easier to train our kids to listen by starting early. The added bonus was that they avoided many sicknesses often passed around the nursery. *that’s a major bonus* But really, we’ve incorporated this style of teaching in pretty much every area of child training – start teaching before they can even understand they are being taught. That’s the main reason our little ones have been in the pew from the get-go. Not that it’s always been easy.
Participation is key
It’s important for children to see they are a part of the congregation and not just someone waiting for the service to be over for everyone else. Participation is key. When the congregation stands, the child stands (or you hold them and stand). When the congregation sings, the child sings. When the congregation prays, the child bows their head in respect. When the congregation listens, the child listens.
Learning to sit
I think every church-going parent has been there at one time in their parenting. Your little one is squirmy, loud, frustrated, bored, and done. Walking out into the hall with a toddler or an infant (countless times!) is part of the process and over the years I’ve learned to go with it rather than get flustered and frustrated too. You will do yourself and your little one a huge favor by keeping your cool. Accept that it’s part of this season of life and it won’t seem nearly as bad.
One way you can help this process go faster is to give your child some practice time at home. Take a moment every day or several times a week to sit him down in a chair and listen (or patiently wait) while you read him a book, watch a non-cartoon video, or simply sit and talk with him. Start small – no big expectations are allowed. Two minutes may be more than he can manage at first. Slowly work your way up as the allotted time becomes more manageable for him. This will greatly improve your experience in the Sunday service.
Keeping Busy
As your child begins to master sitting patiently, it will be helpful for you to teach him how to listen. This is a process also better started early than later. Teaching a child how to do something before it becomes useful is so beneficial to him. By the time he really needs the skill, he will have already mastered it. Keeping busy isn’t really the best description for what a parent hopes their child can accomplish in a church service. Our goal is for them to listen and understand the message coming from the pastor! Training a child to listen is the next step in this process. Coloring books, ipads, phone games, toys – none of these are very helpful in training a child to pay attention to the speaker.
My husband came up with a creative way to keep the kids busy but also engage them in the sermon and we’ve been using this for years with our kids. Basically, he would create a list of words on a sheet of paper and as the sermon began he would give each child a sheet and have them circle every word they heard the preacher say. This encouraged the kids to listen and also gave them something to do with their hands. For the younger kids who could not read yet, he would draw pictures instead of words. This was a game-changer for our littles and made a tremendous difference in their ability to engage.
Because this was such a big help for us, I’ve created for you a sample page similar to what we use for our own kids. I hope you find it useful and I’d love to hear how it works out.
A few tips:
- practice sitting
- practice singing songs
- use sermon sheets to engage
- take time to explain what goes on during the service when you practice “sitting” at home
Download your free sermon sheet printable here. This printable has 2 sermon sheets on a page.
